Dr. Ashley Elliott (Dr. Vivid) introduces and performs a creative movement piece set to the song ‘Something Has to Break,’ using expressive dance as a therapeutic coping tool. She candidly shares her own ‘jambalaya of symptoms’—anxiety, major depressive disorder, insomnia, PTSD, and ADHD—before embodying the song’s themes of breaking free from the internal voice of anxiety rooted in a difficult parental relationship.
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Transcript
[01:37:31] At least you want to jump off the stage.
[01:37:32] Don’t do that, though.
[01:37:33] I dare you jump off the stage.
[01:37:35] Don’t give anybody any ideas.
[01:37:39] Hello.
[01:37:41] Don’t jump off any stage while I’m here.
[01:37:44] My liability insurance doesn’t cover that, but hello, everybody.
[01:37:49] I’m Dr. Ashley Elliott.
[01:37:50] Everybody calls me Dr. Vivid, and today I’m going to demonstrate something that I use for my coping,
[01:37:58] but also something that I love using with my clients is creative movement.
[01:38:02] So sometimes in therapy, you don’t have the words, but you have a song, and you all know you have
[01:38:09] that one song that resonates with you when you’re really feeling something.
[01:38:13] So this particular song is from one of my favorite albums, and, oh, okay, I’m going to be like everybody else.
[01:38:19] Hi, my jambalaya of symptoms includes anxiety, major depressive disorder, insomnia, PTSD, and ADHD,
[01:38:31] but not the crocheting type.
[01:38:33] I can’t do that shit, okay?
[01:38:36] So.
[01:38:39] This song resonates with me because it connects how I realized how deep my anxiety was making me
[01:38:45] feel with myself and how my younger self was feuding with my parent because my anxiety stemmed from them.
[01:38:54] So, you ready?
[01:38:55] You want to bring the song up?
[01:38:57] Uh-huh.
[01:38:58] I’m going to help you.
[01:39:09] Okay.
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[01:39:39] And my glasses are off, so I’m the only person I can see is her.
[01:39:48] Child, I can’t see no timer.
[01:39:50] The astigmatism that I have.
[01:39:52] But my song is less than five minutes.
[01:40:02] I wish that I could shut you off, keep you muted.
[01:40:06] I wish I knew the difference between your voice and mine, and mine.
[01:40:18] I’m always pulling out the fires that you started.
[01:40:22] And every time I look around, it just looks bad on me, on me.
[01:40:33] You only show up when it’s incomplete.
[01:40:36] I’m always talking loud, fill my head with lies.
[01:40:42] Keeping me home, keeping me from leaving.
[01:40:46] You love just to take my time.
[01:40:50] Why you hate me, hate me?
[01:40:53] All you do is suffocate me.
[01:40:56] Can’t breathe.
[01:40:57] And if I could choose, it’d be me without you.
[01:41:06] You drain me, drain me.
[01:41:09] All you do is try to change me, change me.
[01:41:12] Lately, and if I could choose, it’d be me without you.
[01:41:19] Ooh, it’s crazy, crazy, crazy.
[01:41:25] You say you may feel low.
[01:41:26] Your power is amazing.
[01:41:28] I don’t recognize myself, no, no.
[01:41:31] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[01:41:34] No, no.
[01:41:35] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[01:41:36] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[01:41:37] You only show up when it’s inconvenient.
[01:41:42] I’m always talking loud, fill my head with lies.
[01:41:45] Keeping me home, keeping me from leaving.
[01:41:50] You love just to take my time.
[01:41:53] Why you hate me, hate me?
[01:41:57] All you do is suffocate me.
[01:42:00] Can’t breathe.
[01:42:01] And if I could choose, it’d be me without you.
[01:42:06] You drain me, drain me, all you do is try to change me lately
[01:42:17] And if I could choose, it’d be me without you
[01:42:24] Boy, won’t you let me go
[01:42:36] Why won’t you let me go
[01:43:06] Why won’t you let me go
[01:43:36] Why won’t you let me go
[01:44:06] Why won’t you let me go
[01:44:36] Why won’t you let me go
[01:45:06] Why won’t you let me go