Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGmNfDfUT5M Starts at: 03:27:20 (jump to 03:27:20)
Eileen Gaffney — ‘Cloaks, Coats & Christianity’ Poetry on Childhood Abuse
[03:27:22] Eileen Gaffney. [03:27:25] Hey. [03:27:29] I don’t know how to use this mic. [03:27:30] That’s what I know. [03:27:32] I’m gonna try to get on the stage. [03:27:34] No, please don’t go for it. [03:27:35] Actually, that’s a bad idea. [03:27:37] Many, many reasons. [03:27:39] Lawsuits. [03:27:40] Hi, everybody. [03:27:42] This has been a wonderful night [03:27:43] after all the incredible artists, performers, the energy. [03:27:51] I’m almost embarrassed to be up here, [03:27:53] but I’m not gonna chicken out. [03:28:01] Also, the very first speaker said [03:28:03] that we were supposed to keep it light. [03:28:05] I didn’t get the memo, [03:28:07] so I’m gonna apologize if I end on a not light note. [03:28:10] All right, I’m gonna take this down a little bit. [03:28:14] Again, my name’s Eileen Gaffney. [03:28:16] This is my first public reading of any of my poetry. [03:28:20] Just two very quick things. [03:28:23] I’m telling you this because I think they’re relevant [03:28:24] to my poems. [03:28:26] I am 63 years of age, or 63 years young, [03:28:30] and I’m usually now very embarrassed [03:28:32] or stupidly reluctant to tell people my age. [03:28:34] But I’m doing it in this context [03:28:36] because my first poem is based on the years [03:28:38] between 1965 and 1968. [03:28:39] 1965 and 1967. [03:28:41] And the other one is more recent. [03:28:45] And then lastly, I am a quote, [03:28:47] I’m not sure if I like this word or not, [03:28:48] survivor of head and neck cancer quite a few years back. [03:28:57] So when nervous, my mouth gets very dry, [03:29:01] so I might reach for my water. [03:29:03] Okay, I think it’s over there. [03:29:04] I think I’m okay. [03:29:06] Anyway, again, like I said, [03:29:07] this is probably a little darker than it should be, [03:29:09] and I’m gonna start before I run out of time. [03:29:14] Okay. [03:29:16] Cloaks, Coats, and Christianity. [03:29:20] As you read this, I realize your ignorance. [03:29:23] I accept you will believe this is about everybody except you. [03:29:27] You may be so appalled and sickened, [03:29:30] yet you remain so self-immersed, so judgmental, [03:29:33] you will never see the forest for the trees see you. [03:29:37] Pedophiles and priests, pervert church docents, [03:29:42] their 1960s wives, decades of cloaked, hidden lies, [03:29:49] naked deceit, abuse those so once nearly newly sweet, [03:29:55] abuse the most innocence. [03:29:57] Do you know the day, the hour, the moment you sold your soul? [03:30:02] Or were your transgressions and abuses made gradually, [03:30:06] groaningly, in vain? [03:30:07] And both areищ gloomyly, using the Lord’s word, [03:30:11] the way, as your shield. [03:30:13] As long as the lines blurred, [03:30:16] severe disobedience not crossed, [03:30:21] you use your contraventions, your flatterings to literally, [03:30:23] fuck the cross. [03:30:25] I pray to God they both all will fucking, [03:30:28] rot rot, [03:30:29] ma and hell, [03:30:30] in hattie,s in fire. [03:30:32] For the prey against me, [03:30:35] to me, [03:30:36] and many who [03:30:36] 미� apartment hmy h주세요는 대� Pirate because I am I, [03:30:36] hate because I am close to you. [03:30:37] and many others, I am sure, [03:30:39] even their own children not spared. [03:30:46] Sleepovers at the neighbor’s respectable, reputable home. [03:30:51] So many children of their own. [03:30:53] How could anything go wrong? [03:30:55] Deviant, aberrant, violated, time and time and time again. [03:31:00] A home like the villain’s crypt [03:31:03] in the Batman of decades gone by. [03:31:08] Views askew, sideways, sometimes upside down. [03:31:13] Asleep in one bed to awaken naked in another [03:31:16] or in the hall alone, cold, disoriented, always naked. [03:31:22] Blindfolds and hot breath, sometimes excited fast, [03:31:26] sometimes others slow and long. [03:31:32] Always wet. [03:31:33] Moist, wet. [03:31:35] Insertions of things where not belonged. [03:31:38] Letcherous, wrong. [03:31:41] Cuts, scrapes, bruises, abrasions. [03:31:44] A vertical drop down from monkey bars. [03:31:48] A hard straight down fall, legs spread wide, [03:31:52] direct hit onto cylindrical steel bars below. [03:31:56] An unfortunate landing, I am told. [03:31:58] A cut, scarred chin, bicycle fall to blame. [03:32:07] A severely chipped tooth, culprit, [03:32:09] a small concrete animal, hippo, elephant, [03:32:12] supported by a large, coiled, tight, single spring, [03:32:16] living in a nearby park. [03:32:18] One’s really road, one’s really rocked. [03:32:23] There is blood, but not much I recall. [03:32:26] My memory is good, great, almost, cleverly. [03:32:28] Most clairvoyant. [03:32:29] Then nothing, nil, blackout, blankout, total darkness. [03:32:37] This is why this last guy scared me. [03:32:44] Tormented nightmares begin, follow, ensue, pursue. [03:32:52] Till and long after I emerge. [03:32:55] Sorry guys, too long. [03:32:56] Thank you. [03:32:58] If you get the general picture, [03:33:00] and I’m sorry to end on a bad note, but. [03:33:10] All right. [03:33:13] Thank you very much. [03:33:14] I was gonna finish the very end, but I’m good.