Daniela Nye, performing under the name Tiger Lily, introduces and performs her original song ‘Before You Came Along,’ a live acoustic guitar performance written for her children. In her spoken introduction, she shares her experience of childhood abuse in Brazil, lifelong depression, and finding music at age 43 as a coping mechanism and a path toward becoming a better mother.
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Transcript
[02:28:42] Hey.
[02:28:56] Thank you guys for bearing with me.
[02:29:03] Sit down.
[02:29:04] Because I’m a baby guitar player, an old baby guitar player.
[02:29:09] And so I find that just like children,
[02:29:12] sometimes we need to do things sitting down because we’re not ready.
[02:29:15] At least in public.
[02:29:16] Sometimes I play standing up at home.
[02:29:18] But because I still have to look at what I’m doing.
[02:29:23] Thank you so much for having me.
[02:29:25] I’m so moved by every story that I’ve heard tonight.
[02:29:29] And feel privileged to be here with everyone.
[02:29:35] How many times have I sought help for mental health?
[02:29:39] A million.
[02:29:41] I realized recently that.
[02:29:45] So I grew up in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
[02:29:48] And I lived there until I was 18.
[02:29:52] I suffered a lot of.
[02:29:55] Child abuse that I’m not sure when it started.
[02:30:00] But I think my first memory of my mother is like a punch in the stomach.
[02:30:05] And so I’ve spent the rest of my life trying to feel okay after that.
[02:30:13] Not really getting anywhere.
[02:30:16] I think part of it was accepting that I will never be okay.
[02:30:21] And then after.
[02:30:23] One of the ways that I came to cope with that trauma.
[02:30:33] And not really getting relief from any mental health treatments that I got.
[02:30:38] Was music.
[02:30:40] And I decided to pick this guy up at age 43.
[02:30:45] And write some songs about things.
[02:30:49] And mostly for my kids.
[02:30:51] Because I was just trying.
[02:30:53] To be a better person.
[02:30:57] A better mom.
[02:30:58] To them.
[02:30:59] And it’s hard to do that when you’re depressed.
[02:31:04] It’s hard to look your kids in the eyes.
[02:31:07] And feel what they’re feeling.
[02:31:09] When you’re under so much stress.
[02:31:11] And when you’re depressed.
[02:31:13] And that’s the same for other loved ones.
[02:31:15] And I realized that I think I didn’t find any relief.
[02:31:19] Because I didn’t remember what it was like to not be depressed.
[02:31:22] Because it happened to me.
[02:31:23] When I was so little.
[02:31:25] And I never got out of it.
[02:31:27] But being a mom.
[02:31:29] Tests you in ways that you never thought.
[02:31:31] Possible.
[02:31:33] And so I didn’t find my strength.
[02:31:35] To sing anything.
[02:31:37] Or make any music before.
[02:31:39] But I did now.
[02:31:41] And I just recorded my first song.
[02:31:45] Which I did write for my kids.
[02:31:47] And I don’t know if that’s the one I’m going to play here tonight.
[02:31:51] Because a very wonderful producer.
[02:31:53] Worked on it.
[02:31:55] And it sounds so much better.
[02:31:57] Than what I can do.
[02:31:59] So maybe one day you guys will hear that song.
[02:32:03] And in the meantime.
[02:32:05] This one is about.
[02:32:07] I guess finding your strength.
[02:32:09] When you’re little.
[02:32:11] I suppose.
[02:32:13] And it’s called.
[02:32:15] Before you came along.
[02:32:23] Throw it all down.
[02:32:43] Throw it all like me.
[02:32:47] Throw it all down.
[02:32:51] Throw it all like me.
[02:32:53] Throw it all like me.
[02:32:55] Throw it all like me.
[02:32:57] I can take it.
[02:32:59] I can take it.
[02:33:01] I can take it.
[02:33:03] I can take it all.
[02:33:05] I can take it all.
[02:33:07] I can take it all.
[02:33:09] I can take it all.
[02:33:11] I can take it all.
[02:33:13] Your words.
[02:33:15] Your words.
[02:33:17] Like daggers they cut me.
[02:33:19] Like daggers they cut me.
[02:33:21] your stones, they break me, they break me, they break me, they break it all, they break it all.
[02:33:45] Go on, go on, it’s setting on fire, it’s setting on fire, I can’t feel it, I can’t feel it burn anymore, anymore.
[02:34:15] Cause I got strong, yeah I got strong, before you came along, before you came along.
[02:34:43] Let it all go.
[02:34:45] Yeah let it all happen, let it all go, let it all happen, I can take it, I can take it, I can take it all, I can take it all.
[02:35:15] My words, are the ones I couldn’t find, my heart, and everything that’s in my mind, they mean nothing, they mean nothing.
[02:35:37] They can disappear, they can disappear.
[02:35:45] Go on, go on, it’s setting on fire, it’s setting on fire, I can’t feel it, I can’t feel it burn anymore.
[02:36:15] Cause I got strong, yeah I got strong, before you came along, before you came along.
[02:36:45] I can’t feel it burn anymore.
[02:36:54] Thank you, okay.