Spoken word artist Artie Fox delivers a heartfelt tribute to his recently deceased grandmother, prefacing the poem ‘I’m Going Home’ with a vulnerable personal account of nearly not attending the event due to grief, and of stepping up to speak at her funeral when no one else could find the strength. The performance weaves together themes of grief, the redemptive power of poetry, and a spiritual journey toward healing and self-acceptance.
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Transcript
[01:47:40] How y’all doing today?
[01:47:41] Doing good?
[01:47:44] To be honest, I almost didn’t make it here today.
[01:47:48] My granny passed recently, and it affected me a whole lot.
[01:47:53] Right now, I want to be inside a dark space in a box.
[01:47:56] Thinking about my granny.
[01:47:59] But then I went to my granny’s funeral recently.
[01:48:01] And while I was at the funeral, the preacher got up and he asked,
[01:48:05] did anybody have anything to say?
[01:48:07] And nobody got up to say anything about my granny.
[01:48:10] And it hurt my feelings so much that there were so many people that she inspired,
[01:48:15] but nobody had nothing to say.
[01:48:17] So I got up and I shared a poem.
[01:48:19] And as I’m standing, I’m looking around at my family,
[01:48:22] and I immediately realized why nobody else had anything to say.
[01:48:26] It was so hurtful, it was so broken, that maybe they had something to say.
[01:48:32] Maybe they just didn’t have the strength to say it.
[01:48:35] So I’m so blessed that God didn’t only make me a person, but a poet,
[01:48:39] because it’s the poetry that gave me the energy to be a strength in my family,
[01:48:43] that I never knew I had to be, or even needed to be.
[01:48:47] So every poem I do, from now on, I dedicate to my whole family.
[01:48:51] Because I realize when I get on the stage, it’s not just me I’m talking to.
[01:48:56] It’s everybody I ever came in contact with, that didn’t have the strength to say anything.
[01:49:01] And I’m going to do my poem now.
[01:49:11] So when I was young, I used to always be late getting home.
[01:49:14] And my granny would be the only person that was cool with it.
[01:49:16] My mom would whip my ass, and I’d step back with my, everybody would.
[01:49:20] But my grandma, she’d be cool with it.
[01:49:21] And she’d always say, be yourself no matter what, right?
[01:49:25] And I came up with my poem.
[01:49:26] My mom would say, and I would say, if I be myself too much,
[01:49:30] I won’t have anything else left.
[01:49:32] But I realized recently that I have unlimited of me to give.
[01:49:37] I can never run out of the me I am.
[01:49:40] And this poem is called, I’m Going Home.
[01:49:42] Because I wish my granny was alive.
[01:49:45] Finally, she’s coming home.
[01:49:52] Coming home.
[01:49:55] Coming home.
[01:49:55] Coming home.
[01:49:56] Coming home.
[01:49:58] Tell the Lord I’m coming home.
[01:50:02] It took me long, but I got strong.
[01:50:06] Can somebody please tell the Lord that I’m coming home?
[01:50:10] I’m sad to say, God, that I’ll be coming home.
[01:50:14] I mean, I traveled, felt like a battle, fighting through my journey,
[01:50:17] no idea where I was going.
[01:50:19] But now, each piece of me is broken off into a piece that,
[01:50:22] you need a microscope to see your mind, your heart, your stuff,
[01:50:25] to be together.
[01:50:25] To even get a peek.
[01:50:26] Did they see me?
[01:50:27] I don’t think they did.
[01:50:28] I didn’t choose poetry.
[01:50:29] Poetry told me.
[01:50:31] No place would hold my head up and back like an old dream.
[01:50:35] And so I got dizzy.
[01:50:36] And spaces and voids become the only safe space for me.
[01:50:39] And boom.
[01:50:40] Exploding got me free.
[01:50:41] Did I mention I was coming home?
[01:50:43] I mean, dangling my full body chain out of a rust spot.
[01:50:45] They can’t cut it out.
[01:50:46] That’s the only scope I’m afraid of.
[01:50:47] And I should have known where the knuckle can press lock.
[01:50:49] And how we heal through all my pain.
[01:50:51] I’m traveling and groping and reminding myself to hold on.
[01:50:54] Like God.
[01:50:55] I was able to find some things within me.
[01:50:56] But they thought keys would set me free.
[01:50:57] Nah, nah.
[01:50:58] I stared with them right in the eye.
[01:50:59] Knowing fire was the only way I would ever actually flee.
[01:51:00] It wasn’t the tree stump that was too tall.
[01:51:01] When we designed these heavenly fires.
[01:51:02] The first time burning.
[01:51:03] Never set me free.
[01:51:04] So I erased these metal claws.
[01:51:05] Anything that held me back from going home from before.
[01:51:06] All of a sudden.
[01:51:07] It got me feeling extra insulted.
[01:51:08] It could not be extra, y’all.
[01:51:09] It was a bomb.
[01:51:10] It was a bomb.
[01:51:11] It was a bomb.
[01:51:12] It was a bomb.
[01:51:13] It was a bomb.
[01:51:14] It was a bomb.
[01:51:15] It was a bomb.
[01:51:16] It was a bomb.
[01:51:17] It was a bomb.
[01:51:18] It was a bomb.
[01:51:19] It was a bomb.
[01:51:24] And I’m going back to my home.
[01:51:25] And I’m still obvious as if I’m still 한번 trapped in a chain I spoke
[01:51:26] about the most likely you’re not being When?
[01:51:27] When I stumbled in and lifted up next to God.
[01:51:28] Feeling like an avatar.
[01:51:29] Flexing out of my second sense.
[01:51:30] I was getting closer to my fear.
[01:51:31] Getting a grasp of what’s going on.
[01:51:32] Traveling.
[01:51:33] Thinking I was going home for so long.
[01:51:34] I didn’t even realize.
[01:51:35] I was already here.
[01:51:36] So at the end of my cold.
[01:51:46] I just looked at my soul right now.
[01:51:52] Like…
[01:51:53] I made it home.
[01:51:54] That is già zì.
[01:51:54] I made it home, and granny look, I made it home.
[01:52:08] Y’all can find me everywhere, YouTube, Instagram,
[01:52:12] Clubhouse, Spotify, Artifox, every place.
[01:52:16] Thank y’all for having me.
[01:52:20] Hey, I like that, I like that.
[01:52:23] Give it up for Artifox, y’all.
[01:52:25] Give it up for one more time.