An artist performing under the name ‘Brown Paper Dog’ delivers a raw spoken-word piece for Women’s History Month, weaving personal experiences of late-diagnosed ADHD, lifelong identity masking, childhood trauma, and the journey toward self-worth. Her performance blends candid autobiographical context with poetic verse addressing neurodivergence, rejection, and the message of self-liberation passed on to her daughters.
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Transcript
[01:03:07] it we know we know bro you know hey one more time give it up for yourselves for being here
[01:03:13] tonight yeah yes yes yes yes yes yes yeah this is dope please again give it up for
[01:03:21] dana denise again yes
[01:03:27] she she actually carried one of our very first speak your truth events at the metropolitan
[01:03:32] kitchen and we could never forget her so she’s here thank you yeah because this is the year
[01:03:39] number eight bro year number eight she keeps coming back who’s been here all eight years
[01:03:43] who came all eight years we know you tyler you put it together of course she was here
[01:03:47] fred you got to put your hand down don’t don’t do that who came at least five times
[01:03:51] at least five times okay okay okay her four four four times all right okay three times
[01:03:58] we got a lot of newbies three three you know what there she go if this is your first time
[01:04:04] raise your hand damn hey give it up for yourselves yeah that’s what’s up where are
[01:04:13] we advertising i don’t know but it’s working that’s what’s up okay that’s what’s up sorry
[01:04:19] let’s go
[01:04:21] we have i knew i knew she was next i knew she was like you got this one i got this okay
[01:04:25] can you do can you do that thing that you do at what’s dope you want me to slow clap
[01:04:29] right right okay okay start okay you pick somebody and who knows how to do a slow clap
[01:04:35] you don’t brother since you’re shaking your head you’re gonna start it i’m gonna teach
[01:04:38] you how i’m gonna teach you how so this is what you do you just start clapping slow right
[01:04:44] like a little bit faster and then as you gradually get faster everybody gonna start clapping
[01:04:48] with you then you’re gonna get loud and then i’m gonna bring up the artist you’re gonna
[01:04:51] be in the middle of your house all right all right bet bet you trying to start it let’s
[01:04:54] do it let’s get it
[01:04:56] hey coming to the stage next i want y’all to give it up for brown paper dog give it
[01:05:04] up for y’all
[01:05:07] hi everybody
[01:05:17] i am brown paper dog
[01:05:19] hi everybody
[01:05:20] i am brown paper dog
[01:05:21] okay you can find me on IG at brown paper doll poetry or at rep is poetry
[01:05:26] 410 okay so I’m a poet if you haven’t figured that out from all the other
[01:05:31] information I gave you and I come out I used to come out a lot to the open mic
[01:05:35] here the what’s dope open mic that happens every first Tuesday so I tend to
[01:05:40] do a lot speaking on neurodivergence and I found myself I had ADHD and this is
[01:05:46] something I discovered through my children you know a big age I’m I’m 37
[01:05:52] years young currently but that was that’s been a journey in trying to kind
[01:05:58] of figure out who I am after several years you know lifetime of masking so I
[01:06:04] found myself thinking about that episode of Spongebob where it’s fun Rob is my
[01:06:10] thing so where he thought he was ugly but his breath sank
[01:06:15] right
[01:06:16] right
[01:06:16] , and I and it’s because the world is a mirror and the way the world treats you
[01:06:23] is the way that you see yourself so even after being divorced something I speak
[01:06:28] on a lot that I think people think is kind of fishing for something is how
[01:06:34] uncomfortable I am with the level of attention that I get you know what I
[01:06:38] mean as a woman and that’s because it feels
[01:06:43] like an accusation when you’re constantly so hyper aware
[01:06:46] of how that impacts making the other women around you feel inadequate per se
[01:06:51] you know what I mean or being made to feel that way in the reverse so this was
[01:06:56] a piece that I wrote and I’m I feel like this isn’t light a while back for
[01:07:03] Women’s History Month okay
[01:07:05] I was followed so they called me a leader I was prey I was hunted I was
[01:07:16] became a mind reader add to that the shape-shifting you’ve got yourself a people group
[01:07:23] you got a girl whose every action could potentially deceive her
[01:07:27] turn grown woman fighting like hell in efforts to retrieve her self after a life of trying to be
[01:07:33] anyone else in her head still beating herself with her mother’s belt for any human imperfection
[01:07:40] any criticism any need for correction turning inward and outward seeking connection
[01:07:45] she became deeply terrified of rejection because for a child love means protection and the absence
[01:07:51] of that equals death and so she turned to rage as a means of deflection and still ultimately
[01:07:58] neglected her unheard thinking so much I can’t hear my own words I was seeking to blur
[01:08:06] set to do not disturb and they keep asking me where it hurts everywhere nowhere it’s not like
[01:08:15] anybody thinks
[01:08:15] fucking cares I’ve poured my open heart out to too many blank stares there’s something
[01:08:20] raw about me something so rare I’m starting to think I don’t belong anywhere they say
[01:08:26] you can never go home again why the fuck would I want to get back there I was terrified of
[01:08:32] my mother’s rage of the unpredictable stage when she’d say things to me that would stick
[01:08:37] to me for days I think that’s when I learned to lock myself in this cage and I’m still
[01:08:43] trying to get out but they want to know what I’m all about I’ll tell you what I tell my
[01:08:48] daughters pretty mean sharks in the water and they will blame you if they smell blood
[01:08:53] they will attack and if you react they’ll say you think too much accuse you of an inability
[01:08:58] to trust you will ask for love and they will give you lust call you a diamond and discard
[01:09:03] you like dust you’re the one that’s got to know you’re enough it’s the only way to call
[01:09:08] their bluff and even if you give a fuck you can never let them know they’ve touched your
[01:09:11] insecurities
[01:09:13] you keep heart guarded not on sleeve you make them earn every ounce of your royal energy
[01:09:18] you be better than me you be better than me I give you permission to tell the story of
[01:09:29] how my hurting hurt more than me and I think my mother would agree we’re all just trying
[01:09:33] to figure out who we’re supposed to be nobody really knows what any of it means just get
[01:09:38] free whatever it takes get free thank y’all
[01:09:43] that was light you can find me on IG at brown paper doll poetry thank you so much and we
[01:09:50] have these shirts for sale if you guys are interested
[01:09:51] hey you gotta come back
[01:09:58] good shit