Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw8NW7bQXJg Starts at: 03:14:03 (jump to 03:14:03)
Scribe (Aaron Yieldhall) – Personal Story on Music, Anxiety, and Community
[03:14:03] So we are rearing to the end of the night, [03:14:06] and we have Aaron. [03:14:10] It’s actually your go. [03:14:12] I had Artie Fox. [03:14:14] I had Artie Fox, come on. [03:14:15] Aaron Yieldhall. [03:14:17] Yeah! [03:14:19] I said that right? [03:14:21] Ha ha! [03:14:22] Ha ha! [03:14:24] So this code name, Scribe, right? [03:14:30] Yeah. [03:14:31] It’s because nobody ever gets my last name right. [03:14:37] I’ve heard everything. [03:14:38] I’ve heard Yardball, Yeedle, Yodel. [03:14:43] I got a package to Mr. Weedy. [03:14:45] … [03:14:46] That’s not even close! [03:14:48] … [03:14:49] And Scribe is, you know when, in high school, [03:14:53] which is a very scary time, [03:14:56] I think a lot of us forget that, [03:14:58] and, thank you Carly, for reminding us. [03:15:01] … [03:15:04] … [03:15:06] It’s, in high school, you know, my friends, [03:15:09] my circle of friends that I hung out with, [03:15:10] where it was, graffiti was cool, and hip hop. [03:15:12] … [03:15:13] hip-hop and hard rock was just like we would blast music and pass around black [03:15:22] books of course I didn’t do with any you know I didn’t actually do graffiti [03:15:27] that’s illegal you know I never did any of that stuff I’ve been been staring at [03:15:35] this all night I’m digging it but that was like a bonding thing with my circle [03:15:41] of friends is pass around these black books and you like tag your friends book [03:15:44] and I would always write scribe because uh you know before the technology of [03:15:50] like recording things you actually have to have a person that would kind of like [03:15:55] sit there and write things down otherwise wouldn’t you know it was just [03:16:00] you know passed along and the telephone game can happen and so like these [03:16:05] scribes would kind of record things that were deemed important and scribes [03:16:11] means to write and so that was my writing name and then I don’t know what [03:16:18] how it carried over into my music name but I guess I was still writing when I [03:16:22] was making music too so I’ve had a lot of life happen to me in the past five [03:16:32] years and it’s I didn’t really know what I was gonna really talk about [03:16:41] tonight and I’m I’ve been hiding behind a guitar since I was 16 not hiding [03:16:49] behind a guitar it did I couldn’t stand up and do this when I was 16 I sat in a [03:16:56] corner and drew or played my guitar and I was deathly afraid of talking [03:17:00] to anybody and when I started like meditating with a guitar like writing [03:17:08] music that’s what allowed me to be a [03:17:11] doctor and I decided that I’m gonna have to stop writing about black music now like when I started like meditating with guitar like writing music that’s what allowed me to be a [03:17:11] able to okay now I can I have a reason I can something to do with my hands like [03:17:17] you see I’m holding a cup now it’s just something to do with my hands it’s the [03:17:21] guitar I guess was kind of a crutch at first but really now I’m I’m still [03:17:26] playing music and writing songs and it’s a part of me and it’s if I’m having a [03:17:31] hard time I need my guitar to unlock that part of my brain that says this [03:17:38] information can come out in a healthy way that’s not violence or anger or [03:17:46] destructive thoughts I mean you can’t leave stuff in your head I think [03:17:49] everybody in this room knows that you can’t let that stuff fester around in [03:17:53] your head and that’s the whole purpose of this event is a reminder that hey [03:17:58] it’s okay get to get up and talk and I mean you’re gonna find especially here [03:18:04] it might be harder or just out in you know a random [03:18:08] location what that’s not kind of designed for this but I mean it’s [03:18:14] amazing like I have so many negative things to say about social media all the [03:18:18] time and I think it’s a horrible thing that’s being misused and misinterpreted [03:18:22] and it’s not reality and there’s lines are blurred with all that but I was [03:18:28] going through a really hard time and I just posted something like hey I’m going [03:18:36] through a hard time [03:18:52] it’s okay to cry I just want to talk instead of crying you know I’m not [03:18:58] afraid of crying it’s just like I didn’t want to be able to get the words out I [03:19:00] don’t want to like I’ve had hundreds I’ve had hundreds of people [03:19:06] reach out to me like over a hundred people text me call me and stop me in [03:19:15] public just to ask not what’s wrong not give me the scoop but just to say hey [03:19:24] you’re cool man and I love you people that I don’t know very well and nobody [03:19:30] even fucking knows what’s going on and I completely had my blinders on. I have no [03:19:35] on I was so involved in this voice in my head that I let take the microphone for [03:19:43] a little bit that I forgot about I didn’t know I was not aware of all these [03:19:48] people that actually give a shit about me when I can’t even give a shit about [03:19:51] myself and you know I was standing over there looking at my tickets about a [03:20:01] couple raffle tickets and I put my coffee down I was standing over there by [03:20:06] where all the prizes were I was kind of looking at the beef jerky that looks [03:20:09] good I want that Oh salt lick block all right yeah that looks maybe maybe I do [03:20:15] want to take I just moved right I just moved oh and the winters helped me move [03:20:21] thank you guys appreciate you moving can be very stressful for me and you know [03:20:26] when we moved I was like why do I have all this shit I don’t want any more [03:20:30] shit [03:20:31] so I was like no I don’t even want to win the raffle I don’t even want to know [03:20:35] what’s over there because I don’t need more shit but then I’m like beef jerky a [03:20:38] hundred dollars worth of beef jerky I want that so I’m sitting over there [03:20:52] looking at my tickets and I’m like man I actually kind of do want to like win [03:20:58] something so I’m like you know you’re calling out the numbers and I’m like [03:21:01] no oh no not even close well Anita’s winning again okay this is clearly rigged [03:21:11] and and I’m not winning anything and you down to the last one we’re at the last [03:21:19] I’m like I think I might be getting up soon to talk and I’m starting to get a [03:21:22] little anxious about that and I said like I realized I had set my coffee [03:21:26] down amongst a sea of cups over there and I look at one of the cups and it’s [03:21:31] got tickets in it and I’m like I never even put my other half of the tickets in [03:21:36] any of these drawings there’s no way I can possibly win but I’m sitting there [03:21:40] going like beef jerky but I feel like now that I I thank you for listening to [03:21:56] me and I really appreciate all of the everyone who’s everyone who’s watching [03:22:01] organized this safe space and everybody who supported it and everybody who got [03:22:07] up on stage today because that’s that’s brave and it’s awesome it’s inspiring to [03:22:16] see and you know I met Tyler because I organized a mental health benefit concert [03:22:25] back in January and we became close friends and we’ve talked about very deep [03:22:30] things right and we talked about how we fight about how we fight about how we [03:22:31] off the bat and he invited me out to this and it was one of those things [03:22:37] where I saw it at a stoplight and then I the light turned green and I was like [03:22:42] never gonna remember what app that conversation was on you know and I [03:22:48] forgot to sign up I didn’t realize there was a little form but I was like I [03:22:51] hundred percent want to do this I think it’s an amazing cause and when I you [03:22:59] reminded me you nudged me which I think is awesome like thank you for doing that [03:23:03] it’s like no hard feelings I thank you sir yeah I’ve I do that all the time and [03:23:08] I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings but I just you know I see a squirrel you [03:23:11] know a butterfly oh my god like what yeah what’s going on and then all the [03:23:17] spots were filled up except for the last one and I was like shit now I just get [03:23:21] this stew in my anxiety and like but anyways thank you so much [03:23:29] so not putting business out but I would just like to say we appreciate you for [03:23:42] being here it takes a lot for people to one you know get on stage for one to open [03:23:48] up their phones pay a ticket fee to get here and get on stage and speak their [03:23:55] truths you never know what anyone is going through [03:23:59] I know you guys hear that a lot but you just can’t tell and this event has the [03:24:07] ability to take people from very harmful situations hurtful situations and give [03:24:14] them a space where they can just be and so again we want to thank scribe for [03:24:23] getting up here speaking truth and again everybody round of applause [03:24:29] for scribe