Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aw8NW7bQXJg Starts at: 02:41:05 (jump to 02:41:05)
Carly Winter – Original Song ‘Chemicals’ on Bullying and Mental Health
[02:41:11] expressing oneself and i know i know even myself i wasn’t expecting all that but sometimes [02:41:19] the truth is shocking if someone is speaking their truth and you aren’t shocked we have a problem [02:41:28] nevertheless i love the fact that you guys are here you are for it you are present and non-judging [02:41:37] so thank you [02:41:41] so thank you [02:41:41] you are still holding those clothes you’re still holding the clothes i gotta i’m waiting for us [02:41:47] until when we get off the stage i’m gonna go give it to her [02:41:49] all right you just look real comfortable with it i you know it’s okay it’s okay it’s okay not to [02:41:56] drop it it’s a lot of oh you about to do something express yourself thank you [02:42:03] all right all right all right let’s get this show on the road so we are going to the next [02:42:11] artist everybody give it up for carly winter [02:42:16] give it up for y’all [02:42:41] oh there we go i got it thank you [02:42:44] sorry hi guys [02:42:48] my name’s carly um i’m a songwriter and basically i was originally going to play my fun song it’s [02:43:00] coming out this summer um at the end of the month but then i kind of realized that this place is a [02:43:09] more comfortable place to play and i’m going to do it this summer so i’m going to do it this summer [02:43:11] so i’m going to play more vulnerable songs and i’m a cry baby so bear with me um [02:43:16] but um but basically i just finished my freshman year of high school and um [02:43:27] uh middle school was pretty hard for me because for a lack of better term i guess i was bullied um [02:43:41] and that kind of stuck with me i guess because um it kind of you know going to school every day i [02:43:55] felt like sorry [02:43:58] it’s hard it’s hard going to a place where it feels like nobody wants you there [02:44:11] um but when i play my songs people listen to me and people appreciate me so this song is kind of [02:44:21] about how uh that stuff kind of stuck with me um and how it’s kind of hard to adapt with that stuff [02:44:32] and how you can’t really change the way your brain is unless you work really hard and it’s [02:44:37] hard to get the motivation to work really hard [02:44:41] and it’s hard to get the motivation to get up on stage and cry in front of people [02:44:44] this song’s called chemicals [02:44:55] this is [02:45:11] my pledge to silence [02:45:14] i won’t ask for help but ask why you don’t notice [02:45:26] i’ll go back to not eating again [02:45:41] then wonder why i can feel my bones [02:45:49] how am i supposed to call you a friend [02:46:01] when i can’t call my own [02:46:09] boss [02:46:11] yeah well yeah i’ll go live with somebody at home [02:46:19] against the wall [02:46:20] i cut the back of my heels [02:46:24] trying to see if i’ve grown since last year [02:46:31] trying to see if i’ve grown since last year [02:46:36] trying to see if i’ve grown since last year [02:46:37] and now i’m pretending i need to take a step forward [02:46:39] and not realize it [02:46:40] even just letting it go [02:46:41] We’re lying on the fact of an inch or two as a pat on the back saying, I improved. [02:46:58] And my only response left is that I am trying, but I don’t know what exactly trying is. [02:47:28] How am I supposed to move on when the way that I am was formed from it? [02:47:51] Today, I was asked what I want to do when I grow up. [02:47:58] And my honest answer was, I want to shut the hell up. [02:48:14] Maybe first I’ll do a test run for a week or two. [02:48:24] Then see the difference I make tonight. [02:48:28] No one. [02:48:30] So I’ll carry through. [02:48:36] You can’t see the line between what I need and what’s tearing me down. [02:48:47] But I’m tired of waking up on the floor with my hand over my mouth. [02:48:58] You put a bullet in my head and said not to take it personal. [02:49:10] Maybe the bullet was needed there. [02:49:14] Maybe it can fix the chemicals. [02:49:23] I’ve got to move on. [02:49:27] Don’t. [02:49:28] I know what I’m doing wrong. [02:49:33] In time, I’ll be gone. [02:49:38] It’s the chemicals. [02:49:44] Thank you guys for listening. [02:49:46] Thank you. [02:49:55] Wow. [02:49:58] Wow. [02:49:59] I don’t know about you guys, but I felt that. [02:50:02] I just. [02:50:03] That was great. [02:50:04] I mean, this is what this event is about. [02:50:08] Having a space where you are wanted, where you belong, where you are appreciated, and where you are unique. [02:50:17] And Carly, just thank you. [02:50:19] Thank you for being bold. [02:50:21] Thank you for being vulnerable. [02:50:24] We are learning here. [02:50:28] God. [02:50:32] OK. [02:50:33] So just for the sake of just letting go. [02:50:37] Can we just all take a deep breath, breathe in through the nose and we can let it out like that. [02:50:45] Or we can do the Darth Vader. [02:50:50] All is good. [02:50:51] Thank you so much, everybody. [02:50:52] One more time for Carly.