Tancredi Calabrese, brother of SYT founder Tyler Calabrese, delivers a candid personal narrative about years of high-functioning addiction as an attorney, a near-fatal overdose, felony indictment, and his path to recovery through therapy, NA meetings, family support, and sobriety. He closes with a direct call for audiences to destigmatize addiction and encourage loved ones to seek help.
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Transcript
[01:37:18] Hey, give it up for him, y’all.
[01:37:21] Call him Tan, Tyler’s brother.
[01:37:29] Hello, everyone.
[01:37:32] See, it is not unusual for someone to butcher my name.
[01:37:37] It has been happening my entire life.
[01:37:41] In fact, the reaction I get
[01:37:44] when most people see me afterwards is, oh, he’s white.
[01:37:48] It’s a little weird.
[01:37:50] So Tyler did a tremendous job of introducing me
[01:37:55] and I actually had a bunch of things I was gonna say
[01:37:59] but he kind of knocked me off my feet
[01:38:02] and I’m overcome with joy.
[01:38:04] So I’m gonna try to get it together
[01:38:06] and just tell you a little bit about my story.
[01:38:08] See I have struggled with addiction
[01:38:12] for as long as I can remember.
[01:38:15] And despite what Tyler said, I didn’t go through it.
[01:38:16] I don’t think Tyler said it.
[01:38:17] I don’t think he said it. I didn’t say it.
[01:38:18] I don’t think he said it. I don’t think Tyler said it.
[01:38:18] I don’t think Tyler said it. I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it.
[01:38:18] I don’t think Tyler said it. I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it. I didn’t say it.
[01:38:18] enjoy it for quite some time. A very long time. And I think that’s kind of how it goes.
[01:38:26] But I lived my life under the philosophy that if you get good grades, nobody can tell you
[01:38:34] what the fuck to do. As long as I would get good grades, I could act up no matter what.
[01:38:42] And then as I got older, as long as I get a diploma and graduate college, I can do whatever
[01:38:48] I want. As I get older, the stakes get higher. As long as I, you know, become an attorney,
[01:38:56] I can still continue to use drugs and alcohol as much as I want. And eventually, like everybody
[01:39:05] else, it catches up to you. Now I was a highly functioning addict. Like I said, I was an
[01:39:11] attorney for quite some time. And, you know, vet your attorneys a little better, I’ll tell
[01:39:18] you that right now. But constantly running around on drugs, either trying to keep it
[01:39:26] moving or trying to fall asleep. I, you know, in my mind I think I’m, you know, Tommy Shelby
[01:39:34] or the Wolf of Wall Street. I’m this dynamic, handsome, young figure who can take 30 or
[01:39:40] 40 Adderall a day and then, you know, just chase it with four or five stamp bags of heroin
[01:39:46] to go to sleep.
[01:39:48] So eventually, like in all the movies, that comes crashing down. And for me, it came in
[01:39:55] epic proportion. Overdose. In the family house. Sister finds you. After that, you’re
[01:40:05] indicted. Not that misdemeanor shit, a felony coming. Right? My career is in jeopardy. All
[01:40:13] of this stuff, as you can imagine, is just all at once destroyed.
[01:40:18] Destroying me and my family. You know, this whole time while I’m acting up, I’m not
[01:40:23] thinking about what it’s doing to them. And as you can tell, and it’s not just with Tyler,
[01:40:30] it absolutely destroyed them and crushed them. And then something magical happens.
[01:40:38] COVID-19. I found myself with no money having to stay in my house with my mother and my
[01:40:46] brother.
[01:40:47] I was in the house with my family for an unknown period of time. And while that makes
[01:40:54] some of you more crazy, it actually helped to even out. A lot of people got to say what
[01:40:59] they needed to say and what have you. And I was able to spend a long enough time sober
[01:41:07] where I was like, oh, I should probably, you know, get some help, get some therapy.
[01:41:13] Now, as many of you guys know, that’s easier said than done.
[01:41:15] We can send five countries, tens of millions of dollars, Navy, Air Force, everybody, to
[01:41:26] find a couple of jerk offs that wanted to visit the Titanic in a Pringles can. But I
[01:41:32] can’t get an appointment to go see a therapist for four months out. Right? It’s bullshit.
[01:41:41] But we did. We got it done. We got it on the right track.
[01:41:44] We got it on the right medicine. And eventually that part got, you know, not soft but it helped.
[01:41:53] So then what did I have to do to keep it going? Show some damn gratitude, which was
[01:41:59] the very beginning, right? The best way to do that is to get around a bunch of people
[01:42:05] who think like you do or have had the same situations. NA meetings, right? You became
[01:42:11] a very good, a very active participant to that.
[01:42:13] And I remember, specifically, I had a little boy. I told you my career was in the shitter.
[01:42:22] I’m working at a deli. It’s winter in Pennsylvania. Got this little boy. Don’t know what I’m going
[01:42:28] to do. Like, I got to go to a meeting. So I go to a meeting, sit down. First thing out
[01:42:34] of this dude’s mouth, yeah, it’s been three years since I got hit by that train. Like,
[01:42:40] oh. All of a sudden, my problem has been solved.
[01:42:43] My problems don’t seem quite as, you know, the magnitude as they were. So I started going
[01:42:51] to more of those, more of those, people in the community, like-minded people.
[01:42:56] Fell in love with a black girl. She’s sitting right back there. Say hi, Jasmine.
[01:43:01] Let me tell you something. You want to really love somebody and love their family behind
[01:43:10] somebody, that is the complete opposite of you.
[01:43:13] So, she met me in my very down low. She held it down for me so hard throughout this entire
[01:43:25] experience. We had a lovely little boy together. Also named Tancredi.
[01:43:30] But it’s funny if people ask this. I’m like, oh, what’s his name?
[01:43:34] I’m like, Trump, or something that’s going to offend something real crazy.
[01:43:39] And they’re like, oh, shit. And then I follow up with Tancredi.
[01:43:42] And they’re like, I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.
[01:43:47] All right. So I’ll wrap it up. But lastly, and perhaps most importantly,
[01:43:54] my two brothers are in here, in case you didn’t notice.
[01:43:58] Tyler and my youngest brother, Charles. As far as, you know, holding it down,
[01:44:06] which is something he literally had to do to me on multiple occasions.
[01:44:12] You know, I cannot thank you guys enough. I figured I would take a little bit of time
[01:44:18] and do it in front of all of these people so you can be like, oh, remember that one time
[01:44:22] you were in front of everybody and made you say sorry?
[01:44:27] So, I am sorry for all the grief I caused you. But you are most certainly the reason
[01:44:34] I’m able to stand here. And standing right here, because actually the second iteration
[01:44:40] of this, I could not attend because I was in rehab, right?
[01:44:45] So, just another example of the, you know, opportunities I missed because of addiction.
[01:44:52] But hopefully me standing here, you know, can represent a beacon of hope,
[01:44:58] a little bit of, you know, silver lining, because it’s not easy.
[01:45:04] And every single one of you in here, everybody, as friend, family member,
[01:45:09] somebody that is struggling with addiction. And it can come in all sorts of ways.
[01:45:13] Like, it’s not just drug addiction anymore. So, you know, get them talking.
[01:45:18] Find yourselves a Tyler, you know, somebody that will obsessively listen to you
[01:45:24] no matter what. And, you know, we’ll see you again here next year.
[01:45:31] Thank you.
[01:45:39] Wow. I’m about to start throwing tissues at everybody.
[01:45:46] Just, just take, please.
[01:45:50] Welcome, welcome. Speak Your Truth 2023.
[01:45:55] That was a powerful message.
[01:45:57] Give it up for him one more time, y’all. That was good.