Liza Roe, spoken word poet and self-identified recovered alcoholic, performs three poems from her catalog: ”Feel It All” (forthcoming in ”The Egoic Poet”), ”My Demons,” and ”High On Life” (from her published collection ”The Sober Poet”). The poems explore emotional suppression, inner criticism, the rejection of comparative culture, and the transcendent joy of sobriety and self-reclamation.’
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Transcript
[02:53:25] Yes
[02:53:26] Alright, thank you for that
[02:53:27] Next to the stage is Lisa Rowe
[02:53:32] Liza Rowe
[02:53:33] Oh
[02:53:33] Liza Rowe
[02:53:34] Hey, come on to the stage, Liza Rowe
[02:53:38] Thank you, thank you
[02:53:39] Apologies
[02:53:41] I forgive you
[02:53:43] Okay
[02:53:44] I was considering sitting down
[02:53:46] But I’ll just stand
[02:53:47] My name is Liza
[02:53:48] And I’m going to share with you three poems
[02:53:52] And the first one is called Feel It All
[02:53:56] It’s going to be in my next book
[02:53:58] Which is going to be called The Egoic Poet
[02:54:00] Okay
[02:54:02] Okay
[02:54:02] Okay
[02:54:03] , let’s start
[02:54:04] She said, I don’t want to think about it
[02:54:06] I wanted to tell her your body will act out
[02:54:09] If you don’t address the rest of your thoughts
[02:54:11] They’ll chase you down and follow you around
[02:54:14] For the rest of your life
[02:54:16] Until you decide to feel and acknowledge
[02:54:19] The emotions and thoughts that you’ve tried to swallow
[02:54:21] You might think they’ve vanished
[02:54:24] But they’re just scared and damaged
[02:54:27] So they’re hiding beneath the surface
[02:54:29] Just lurking and waiting to find a purpose
[02:54:33] And they’re just scared and damaged
[02:54:33] But I can’t tell anyone how to live their life
[02:54:36] I’m just here to share my experience
[02:54:39] And go about mine
[02:54:40] I no longer believe there’s a wrong and a right
[02:54:43] Nothing in this world is black and white
[02:54:45] And there are certainly no unhealthy emotions
[02:54:48] We’re only human
[02:54:49] And we are meant to feel every wave of this ocean called life
[02:54:53] We need to embrace them
[02:54:55] Not change or rearrange them
[02:54:58] To fit in some square that the rest of the world has prepared
[02:55:01] Fuck that
[02:55:03] Shit
[02:55:04] I want to feel every part of my existence
[02:55:10] And that’s that poem
[02:55:12] Then we have
[02:55:19] This one’s called
[02:55:21] My Demons
[02:55:23] My demons don’t hibernate
[02:55:27] They sleep next to me for as long as I sleep
[02:55:31] Then they sit on my shoulder
[02:55:33] And I’m like
[02:55:33] Tugging my earlobe
[02:55:35] I tell them to leave
[02:55:35] But they ignore the word no
[02:55:37] And every other ripened rejection
[02:55:38] I’ve had to talk myself out of receiving validation
[02:55:43] Like I’m looking over ledges
[02:55:46] My inner critic is crazy
[02:55:48] She’s got all kinds of ideas
[02:55:51] One might describe as unrealistic expectations
[02:55:53] But I wait
[02:55:55] I am patient
[02:55:59] An afterthought, affirmation
[02:56:02] I continue repeating
[02:56:03] Of my own
[02:56:03] A meditative mantra
[02:56:04] Meant to make my mind go blank
[02:56:06] And prevent my ego from proceeding
[02:56:09] Because I don’t know who told me that life is a contest
[02:56:12] But they lied
[02:56:14] There is no competition
[02:56:16] No award for whoever lives the best life
[02:56:21] There are only the messes that we manifest in our minds
[02:56:24] The troubles we tally time after time
[02:56:27] A crime of comparative culture
[02:56:29] Creating confusion between winning and losing
[02:56:32] The cost of being right versus being wrong
[02:56:33] The cost of being right versus being wrong
[02:56:33] The cost of not being humble
[02:56:34] Therado I suffer with insidious struggles between sheets
[02:56:37] B VIPs
[02:56:38] My demons don’t hibernate
[02:56:40] But neither do I
[02:56:48] And then the last poem that I have
[02:56:50] Is one that I should have memorized
[02:56:52] But I’m just gonna have it here in case
[02:56:54] It’s called High On Life
[02:56:55] And it is from my first book
[02:56:57] Which is called The Sober Poet
[02:56:59] A collection of poems from a recovered alcoholic
[02:57:01] And that’s me
[02:57:03] I am so high on life that misery wants to tether me,
[02:57:11] strap me to the ground, slip me in a straitjacket
[02:57:14] and institutionalize my habit of snorting more than my fair share of joyful freedom.
[02:57:20] Crushing lines of life, inhaling deeply through narrow holes
[02:57:24] into my empty and open soul.
[02:57:27] My body goes cold and numb with a pleasurable touch,
[02:57:30] knowing that death is on my doorstep every moment.
[02:57:35] I’m sure that if I close my eyes, I can relive that hopeful, submissive event
[02:57:40] when I gave up control and floated with my spirit.
[02:57:47] My dearest ego, it is time to take a vacation.
[02:57:53] Your services are no longer needed.
[02:57:56] Consider this your deflation,
[02:57:59] because I’ve seen enough.
[02:58:00] I’m not crazy to last an eternity.
[02:58:03] I’ve birthed a new phase.
[02:58:06] This is my millennium of maternity.
[02:58:09] Unearthed greener days, and now my life is flourishing.
[02:58:13] If the rain keeps a beat, then a storm is a symphony.
[02:58:17] And if I am complete, then God, well, God is within me.
[02:58:23] If I can speak, then I could share subliminally,
[02:58:27] or I could be direct with my words,
[02:58:30] say what I actually mean, quit fucking around with poetry.
[02:58:33] But if you’ve been listening, it’s all the same thing, isn’t it?
[02:58:38] Thank you.
[02:58:42] And if you would like to follow me,
[02:58:44] my Instagram is liza, L-I-Z-A, dot roe, R-O-E, dot outspoken.
[02:58:51] And my book is available on Amazon. Thanks.
[02:58:58] Yes, good job.
[02:59:00] Give it up for Liza, y’all, yeah.
[02:59:03] That was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.