A performer identified as Damaya (or Damar) takes the stage and opens up about living with depression, anxiety, and a manic episode triggered by her grandfather”s passing the day prior. She performs two original songs: one raw, already-written piece about the suffocating grip of depression and anxiety, and a second improvised song written at 6am about a painful relationship — both delivered with vulnerable humor and emotional immediacy.’
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Transcript
[02:29:25] Hi, y’all.
[02:29:27] Hi.
[02:29:29] So I deal with depression and anxiety
[02:29:31] and possibly
[02:29:33] other things. I’m pretty sure
[02:29:35] it’s a lot going on.
[02:29:37] So right now, I’m actually
[02:29:39] dealing with some grief.
[02:29:42] Yesterday, while I was at
[02:29:43] work, my grandfather
[02:29:45] actually passed away.
[02:29:47] So right now, I’m kind of going through this little manic episode.
[02:29:49] It’s actually really fun. I actually had braids yesterday.
[02:29:52] And as you can see, the braids are all gone.
[02:29:54] So yeah.
[02:29:55] My depression song that I actually
[02:29:58] wrote a couple of months
[02:30:00] ago when I was dealing
[02:30:02] with some other grieving.
[02:30:04] So yeah.
[02:30:05] I promise you guys I’m much more funnier.
[02:30:10] Alright. We can start.
[02:30:23] I think about
[02:30:25] moments.
[02:30:25] And I try to get away
[02:30:28] And I try to stay out of the depression
[02:30:30] Think about everything I say
[02:30:33] And I try to get away
[02:30:34] So I start running from the darkness into heaven
[02:30:37] I’m trying to rest again
[02:30:39] But it keeps knocking down on me
[02:30:41] I was once a man
[02:30:43] Then it came and cut off me
[02:30:44] It’ll never, never, never
[02:30:46] Let me be so free
[02:30:48] Took all of my hopes and took all of my fucking dreams
[02:30:51] I can’t breathe
[02:30:54] I can’t breathe
[02:30:55] Missing me
[02:30:57] Making me feel like I have to sleep
[02:31:00] Can’t have no sleep
[02:31:01] Cold nights by myself just trying to be
[02:31:03] What I feel about me
[02:31:04] I can see the future in front of me
[02:31:06] No more
[02:31:07] It knocks me in
[02:31:10] It hits me up
[02:31:12] It pulls me in
[02:31:14] The darkness is, the darkness is
[02:31:16] My only friend
[02:31:17] It’s killing me
[02:31:19] Don’t let me be
[02:31:20] Anxiety controlling
[02:31:22] Won’t you let me be
[02:31:23] Now pull it out, now pull it out
[02:31:25] Now pull it out
[02:31:27] Now let me out, now let me out, now let me out
[02:31:30] Now pull it out, now pull it out, now pull it out
[02:31:33] Now let me out, now let me out, now let me out
[02:31:36] It hits me up
[02:31:38] It knocks me in
[02:31:39] The darkness is, the darkness is
[02:31:42] My only friend
[02:31:43] It’s killing me
[02:31:45] Won’t let me be
[02:31:46] Anxiety controlling me
[02:31:49] Do you hear me?
[02:31:53] Do you hear me?
[02:31:55] Do you hear me now?
[02:32:01] Do you hear me?
[02:32:08] Do you hear me now?
[02:32:18] Um, I still have some minutes.
[02:32:21] Uh, do you have any songs from what I did before?
[02:32:25] Ta.
[02:32:29] Ako.
[02:32:31] Ako.
[02:32:33] Um, um, um.
[02:32:37] Oh, okay.
[02:32:40] Okay.
[02:32:41] Can I take my phone?
[02:32:41] Well, can somebody take a video then?
[02:32:44] For me, thanks.
[02:32:46] Alright.
[02:32:47] Oh, yeah, it is.
[02:32:48] But, like, you know, I saw a whole bunch of screen recording.
[02:32:50] Uh, okay, okay.
[02:32:52] I just
[02:32:55] I just wrote one at like
[02:32:58] 6am with like
[02:33:00] some also some manic tendencies
[02:33:02] It’s really fun
[02:33:04] I’m sorry y’all
[02:33:09] I’m gonna be quick
[02:33:10] You
[02:33:11] Oh god
[02:33:12] Jesus no
[02:33:14] I’m trying to hurry up before my time right now
[02:33:17] I’ll be quick
[02:33:17] I promise you this never happens
[02:33:21] So how’s everybody’s day going?
[02:33:23] Say it all at one time
[02:33:24] Oh my god guys
[02:33:29] I’ve cried so much
[02:33:30] Okay
[02:33:31] Begging on my knees
[02:33:34] Wondering why you don’t
[02:33:38] Ever just want me
[02:33:40] Why you gotta play these games
[02:33:43] Why you not issue
[02:33:45] Do you need tissue
[02:33:48] Figure out what you need
[02:33:51] Before you bring me pain
[02:33:55] My heart shatters to pieces
[02:33:59] When you treat me like shit
[02:34:05] I just want to love you
[02:34:10] Baby I, baby I
[02:34:14] Will continue to try
[02:34:17] But I’m not gonna stay
[02:34:20] Here with you
[02:34:21] Baby I, baby I
[02:34:21] If you keep on acting this way
[02:34:23] Oh baby
[02:34:26] I will continue to try
[02:34:30] But I’m not gonna stay
[02:34:33] If you keep on acting this way
[02:34:36] I would just like to say
[02:34:40] I did a fucking great
[02:34:41] Wait, y’all don’t like what I said
[02:34:42] I’ve been doing horrible
[02:34:44] Okay, thank you
[02:34:45] Okay
[02:34:46] Thank you
[02:34:49] Thank you all for this
[02:34:50] Thank you
[02:34:51] Hey, give it up for Damar one more time y’all
[02:34:53] Yes, yes
[02:34:54] Hey
[02:34:55] That was beautiful
[02:34:56] That’s absolutely beautiful
[02:34:58] And she winged it
[02:34:59] Oh my goodness