Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbAZeaI8iH8 Starts at: 03:51:47 (jump to 03:51:47)
Malcolm McFadden - Personal Truth About 2020 Pandemic Struggles
[03:51:47] Thank you to these guys once again. [03:51:52] Hey, give it up for them one more time, y’all. [03:51:53] Give it up for them. [03:51:56] Thank you. [03:51:58] So, David, I know that was the last person. [03:52:02] But… [03:52:03] You see where my eyes are going right now? [03:52:06] I just have a truth to speak, actually. [03:52:08] All right. [03:52:09] This is your year. [03:52:10] Normally, I don’t have a truth to speak. [03:52:12] That is correct. [03:52:13] And I actually got something this year. [03:52:14] All right. [03:52:15] Want me to leave the stage for you? [03:52:16] Yes, you can leave the stage. [03:52:18] I’ll moonwalk off for you. [03:52:20] I’m going to take these fucking tissues because I’m a bitch and I’m probably going to cry. [03:52:23] Hey. [03:52:24] So… [03:52:25] Hey. [03:52:26] Don’t self-deprecate. [03:52:27] All right. [03:52:28] So, normally, I do these events because a friend of mine… [03:52:32] A friend of mine committed suicide, so I do these for him. [03:52:43] And I don’t normally feel depression and shit, but I’m normally like a happy-go-lucky [03:52:55] person, but this past year fucked me up. [03:53:00] Like… [03:53:01] I caught COVID. [03:53:02] Survived. [03:53:03] That shit didn’t kill me because that shit was weak. [03:53:08] I tore my Achilles, the first injury I ever had, and it sucked ass. [03:53:15] I couldn’t do shit. [03:53:16] I had to sit in the house. [03:53:19] My grandma died. [03:53:20] RIP to my grandma. [03:53:22] Love you. [03:53:23] I lost my job, and I didn’t know… [03:53:28] Like, if… [03:53:29] I’m sorry. [03:53:30] Like, if I was going to be able to pay rent. [03:53:37] I feel like I wasted my time with a lot of shit in life that I wouldn’t have had this [03:53:42] problem if I had not wasted my time, but during the whole time, I didn’t really talk [03:53:52] to nobody. [03:53:53] I didn’t even talk to my girl. [03:53:57] I… [03:53:58] I used to, like, sit in my studio, play the music loud as shit, and just cry. [03:54:04] Days. [03:54:05] Like, days. [03:54:06] I did this. [03:54:07] And… [03:54:08] I don’t normally feel that shit. [03:54:09] Like, that shit was new as fuck. [03:54:10] Like… [03:54:11] It was new. [03:54:12] Normally, I… [03:54:13] You know, I cry, or some dumb shit happens. [03:54:14] I look myself in the mirror and say, mom, stop being a bitch, and then get back to [03:54:15] normal. [03:54:16] But I couldn’t do that. [03:54:17] Well, I did, but it didn’t work. [03:54:18] And so… [03:54:19] God. [03:54:20] God. [03:54:21] God. [03:54:22] God. [03:54:23] God. [03:54:24] God. [03:54:25] God. [03:54:26] God. [03:54:27] God. [03:54:28] God. [03:54:29] God. [03:54:30] God. [03:54:31] God. [03:54:32] God. [03:54:33] God. [03:54:34] God. [03:54:35] God. [03:54:36] God. [03:54:37] God. [03:54:38] God. [03:54:39] God. [03:54:40] God. [03:54:41] God. [03:54:42] God. [03:54:43] God. [03:54:44] God. [03:54:45] God. [03:54:46] God. [03:54:47] God. [03:54:48] God. [03:54:49] God. [03:54:50] God. [03:54:51] God. [03:54:52] God. [03:54:53] God. [03:54:54] God. [03:54:55] God. [03:54:56] God. [03:54:57] anybody there’s there is people thank you thank you but there’s probably people that was going [03:55:11] through the same shit i was and then like one thing that sucks is people telling you like there’s [03:55:16] people going everybody going through it and at the same time like fuck those people like i’m [03:55:20] feeling it myself right now not fuck those people because they had their problems but [03:55:24] it was hard to like see an end to the tunnel like i felt like i was in this dark ass tunnel [03:55:31] with no fucking light you know i just didn’t know how but [03:55:37] luckily i have like dope ass family members i got a good ass mom [03:55:45] i got a bomb ass girl [03:55:52] who supports me [03:55:54] she’s a good ass girl [03:55:54] she’s a good ass girl [03:55:54] she’s in the back [03:55:55] and [03:55:58] and then you know 2020 was hard as shit but in 2021 came around my mom told me keep praying [03:56:06] look to god it’s not something i normally do because i’m like that nigga got a lot to deal [03:56:11] with so there’s no point me asking for little shit but i prayed uh talked to my mom talked to [03:56:19] my sister and luckily my job came back in 2020 [03:56:24] i’m 21 so i’m back to working [03:56:26] back to you know i can pay rent which is really good i’m not gonna be on the streets and shit [03:56:34] so i wanted to say this for like anybody who’s like me who doesn’t normally deal with depression [03:56:42] who doesn’t typically go through this type of shit it when that shit hit though like it can hurt [03:56:50] and it’s gonna rock you it’s gonna rock you like a motherfucker but [03:56:54] one thing somebody told me uh one or not somebody told me jay-z said this he said biggie told him this [03:57:02] it’s like nobody’s built like you you design yourself and then so i kept thinking that yo like [03:57:11] god made you able to go through this dumb shit you know he put you through this dumb shit because [03:57:16] you know you good for it so i kept saying nobody’s like me i design myself so i can get through this [03:57:23] shit and if i can get through this shit i’m gonna be able to go through this shit i’m gonna be able to go through this shit [03:57:24] and it’s like yo that shit was hard like that shit was hard i didn’t know what to do and i got through it [03:57:33] so if you are like me and don’t deal with depression and shit like that lean on your friends [03:57:39] lean on your faith if you have faith uh lean on you know just the people around you and don’t try [03:57:48] to keep it to yourself and one great thing about these events that i kind of wish we had when kevin [03:57:54] was alive that you can talk to people hey so we are fortunate enough to have [03:58:11] this event where we can talk to each other so definitely speak your truth [03:58:15] don’t hold that shit in it’s tough it’s very tough it’s very tough especially to [03:58:21] the black men in the room we told not to cry we told we gotta be strong we got a [03:58:26] whole world that fucks with us and pandemic wasn’t no better we had to sit [03:58:30] at home watch dumb shit on the news every day but for black men they tell us [03:58:35] you know we got to be strong and sometimes being strong is talking to [03:58:41] somebody is that is strong in itself thank you everybody came up here today [03:58:49] even my poke ass [03:58:51] and I’m up here crying is strong for coming up here you feel me so that’s my [03:58:57] truth and please don’t hug me you already hug me but that’s my truth thank [03:59:05] y’all for listening to my what hugs are this is what we doing this is what we doing [03:59:09] Tyler you come over here [03:59:16] thank you y’all