Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbAZeaI8iH8 Starts at: 03:36:00 (jump to 03:36:00)
Mikey - Stand-Up Comedy About Family and Life
[03:36:00] We’ve got Mikey D’Angelo. [03:36:02] Are we both here? [03:36:05] Mikey! [03:36:06] Hey! [03:36:07] All right. [03:36:08] D’Angelo. [03:36:10] All right. [03:36:11] We’re here. [03:36:11] So we’re gonna go with Mikey first, all right? [03:36:15] Be mindful of time. [03:36:16] But we’re here to listen and speak your truth, OK? [03:36:20] Hey, give it up for Mikey, y’all. [03:36:22] Give it up for him. [03:36:26] What’s going on, everybody? [03:36:30] So I was gonna do a couple of jokes right now. [03:36:32] For real. [03:36:33] It’s my first time actually doing a little stand-up. [03:36:35] You know what I’m saying? [03:36:36] Because I’m usually just cracking jokes on the job. [03:36:38] Like, little small stuff. [03:36:39] You know, I’m just walking around. [03:36:41] I’m not kid at the job, because I work at Enterprise. [03:36:44] So I’m cleaning cars for them. [03:36:46] I’m thinking, you know, it’s gonna be pretty cool, [03:36:48] you know, working at Enterprise. [03:36:50] All these new cars and all that stuff. [03:36:51] Service agent, you know? [03:36:53] It’s gonna be cool. [03:36:54] But it don’t tell you, actually. [03:36:55] You’re vacuuming the cars and wiping the windows. [03:36:58] Like, for real. [03:37:00] It’s not bad. [03:37:00] I mean, you do 40 cars a day, get your little incentive. [03:37:03] It’s pretty slick. [03:37:05] Everybody’s like, dude, what’s it [03:37:07] like going up there and getting all those cars? [03:37:09] I’m like, it’s cool. [03:37:10] It’s not bad. [03:37:12] You just, for real, for after a while, [03:37:14] you just, when you get those 40 cars down, those 40 cars down, [03:37:17] you’re just like, OK, an Audi, big deal. [03:37:20] Got a Mercedes, OK, fine, you know? [03:37:23] But the cool thing about it is my, um, [03:37:25] my discount, get 50% off. [03:37:28] So then you got everybody that’s always asking you, Mike, [03:37:31] you wanna hook a brother up with that discount? [03:37:32] Come on now. [03:37:34] Like, no, I can’t do that. [03:37:35] Like, for real, for real. [03:37:36] I could lose my job if you mess it up. [03:37:39] And, you know, then my dad, I love him to death. [03:37:42] Like, Mike, you know, I’m your pops, come on now. [03:37:46] For real, for real, hook me up. [03:37:48] You know what I’m saying? [03:37:49] Like, my dad, y’all would love him. [03:37:51] Like, for real, for real. [03:37:52] My dad’s that type of dude where, like, he talks with his hands. [03:37:55] It’s like sign language. [03:37:57] But don’t look at him drinking, either, [03:37:58] because, like, he’ll stare at you for, like, five seconds [03:38:01] while he’s proving his point. [03:38:02] Like, this is me. [03:38:03] Like, my dad be like, I swear to you, every time he’s talking, [03:38:07] I think he’s about to fight. [03:38:08] He’s just, like, bouncing around like, yo, Mike! [03:38:15] Yo, and he says the same thing three times. [03:38:19] Don’t get this man drinking, for real, for real. [03:38:21] He’ll say the same thing, like, three times. [03:38:23] And you think, he thinks he says it already. [03:38:25] He’ll be like, Mike, you got to go to school. [03:38:29] Otherwise, you’re going to be out on the street. [03:38:31] Then he just looks at you for, like, five seconds [03:38:33] and just stares at you, like, with this crazy look. [03:38:35] You understand what I’m saying? [03:38:43] Like, for real. [03:38:45] Like, my dad, like, shh, man. [03:38:49] And you know how some people have a certain walk? [03:38:51] You can tell how they’re going to present themselves. [03:38:53] Like, this is literally my dad. [03:38:55] Like, arms are swinging, just like. [03:39:00] He’s just naturally ready to fight somebody. [03:39:02] I’m like, come on, man, just chill. [03:39:04] These are my peoples, my friends. [03:39:07] You ain’t got to fight at the drop of a hat. [03:39:10] Like, my pops, I love them to death. [03:39:13] I’m like, you got to chill, bro, you got to chill. [03:39:16] But my mom’s like the total opposite. [03:39:18] Like, when you look up, like, book smarts, that’s my mom. [03:39:22] College graduates, summa collata, all that good stuff. [03:39:24] But she hella shady, though. [03:39:27] Like, she will literally, you tell a joke, [03:39:30] and then she’ll analyze it, and then when it comes to lesson, [03:39:33] like, for real, that’s my mom. [03:39:35] That’s how she is. [03:39:37] Like, that’s not really good. [03:39:38] I mean, you know, there’s certain things in life [03:39:40] that you can’t really just put out like that. [03:39:42] Like, it’s somebody’s feelings. [03:39:45] And then she’s just like, you know, come on, do that. [03:39:48] Like, come on. [03:39:49] Like, man. [03:39:50] God. [03:39:51] God. [03:39:52] God. [03:39:53] God. [03:39:54] God. [03:39:55] God. [03:39:56] God. [03:39:57] God. [03:39:58] God. [03:39:59] God. [03:40:00] God. [03:40:01] God. [03:40:02] God. [03:40:03] God. [03:40:04] God. [03:40:05] God. [03:40:06] God. [03:40:07] God. [03:40:08] God. [03:40:09] God. [03:40:10] God. [03:40:11] God. [03:40:12] God. [03:40:13] God. [03:40:14] God. [03:40:15] God. [03:40:16] God. [03:40:17] God. [03:40:18] God. [03:40:19] God. [03:40:20] God. [03:40:21] God. [03:40:22] God. [03:40:23] God. [03:40:24] like come on, I love my old school. [03:40:28] You know, everybody has, you know, [03:40:29] everybody does a dance with me, I do it with my two-step, [03:40:31] you know, you know. [03:40:34] You know what I’m saying? [03:40:35] Hit my slide, you know, and my occasional spin, [03:40:37] like bap, you know, that’s me, like that’s me. [03:40:42] Like, I don’t know, it’s just like, [03:40:44] to me, the music of today doesn’t have that oomph, [03:40:47] you know what I’m saying, don’t give you that goosebumps. [03:40:49] You know what I’m saying? [03:40:51] Especially when you’re with your lady, [03:40:52] and you’re just dancing, and you’re just chilling, [03:40:55] and you just, you know when a man’s in love, [03:40:57] when that 90s track, he can get all emotional, [03:40:59] he just be like. [03:41:04] So what, you about to leave, you know? [03:41:08] You just smell so good, like, I don’t want this to stop. [03:41:13] I ain’t gonna lie, I be getting sensitive [03:41:14] when that, when that step, if he come on weak, [03:41:17] shh, that is my jam. [03:41:22] But I guess I’m just built different. [03:41:26] Mama’s like, I swear I had you in the 70s, [03:41:28] cause like, you just, you just built different. [03:41:32] Like, you, you see nothing but punchlines. [03:41:36] Like, my friends be like, okay man, [03:41:38] that yo, that joke was funny, man, [03:41:40] he sharpened a number two pencil at a SAT test then, bruh. [03:41:43] You was on point, okay, right? [03:41:46] Like, do you really talk like that, Mike? [03:41:48] Yeah, that’s just me, you know? [03:41:50] I can’t, you know, I can’t talk in slang like that. [03:41:53] You know, you got these guys in my neighborhood, [03:41:56] swear they from the projects, but brother, [03:41:58] your house is bigger than mine. [03:42:00] Like, bruh, like, you can’t be whore, [03:42:03] and you’re, like, your street is Apple Pine Avenue. [03:42:05] Like, no. [03:42:07] Like, come on, man, you grew up in Woodmore Estates, [03:42:09] brother. [03:42:11] Five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a pool in the backyard. [03:42:15] Chill, you went to Bowie High, I do, y’all, y’all, y’all. [03:42:20] Come on, man, for real, like, that’s, that’s Bowie. [03:42:25] Like, Bowie is like a mini hood, [03:42:28] but it’s one of the richest cities in the county. [03:42:32] You are not from South Central, my brother, [03:42:34] it’s Bowie, not Long Beach. [03:42:37] It is Crofton, not Compton, you know what I’m saying? [03:42:42] Like, for real. [03:42:44] I mean, Hank O’Lan, I love it, though, I do. [03:42:46] It’s quiet, you know, people can be friendly [03:42:50] from time to time. [03:42:51] I’m, like, only, probably the only person in my neighborhood [03:42:54] that actually says hi to people. [03:42:55] They don’t know how they react. [03:42:57] They think, because you see somebody like me [03:42:59] with these thick eyebrows, you just mean. [03:43:01] Like, nah, hey, how you doing? [03:43:05] You saying hi to me? [03:43:07] Oh, my God. [03:43:10] There are nice people like this guy here, okay? [03:43:12] All right. [03:43:15] But, yeah, that’s my story, for real, for real. [03:43:19] I ain’t gonna lie, I kind of spit this off the top of the dome. [03:43:21] I was really nervous, but thank y’all for coming. [03:43:23] Get me out there.