Comedian and podcaster Ryan Sickler shares the origins of The Honeydew Podcast, rooted in his personal philosophy of ‘highlighting the lowlights’ — finding humor in trauma. He recounts a harrowing personal history including maternal rejection, the loss of his father at 16, and his grandmother’s death, framing comedy and therapy as essential tools for survival and resilience.
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Transcript
[01:23:08] All right.
[01:23:13] Hey, this is Ryan Sickler, uh, from The Honeydew Podcast, and, uh, you know, my show, I, I
[01:23:19] say highlighting the lowlights.
[01:23:20] My show is all about, uh, finding that lightness in the dark and, you know, laughing about
[01:23:26] your trauma.
[01:23:27] Actually, I, I honestly, my whole family has been funny.
[01:23:31] They’ve always dealt with trauma in a, in a humorous way.
[01:23:36] I mean, at one point, we had a family death pool, okay?
[01:23:39] So, everyone was, you know, trying to bring light to all this darkness, and, um, I just
[01:23:46] never realized that wasn’t what everyone did, you know, until you get later in life and
[01:23:51] you start talking about it.
[01:23:52] But the podcast, uh, was just starting a new show, and, um, I had realized that I had to
[01:23:57] reconnect with my mother after, like, 25 years or something like that, um, and I wanted
[01:24:03] to talk about people’s stories and their lives and how fucked up we all are and how it’s just
[01:24:09] really healthy to laugh about these things.
[01:24:11] Uh, and that’s where this show was born.
[01:24:13] I’ve been pleasantly surprised and blown away of how many messages I receive and how many,
[01:24:19] um, emails I receive about how much the show has helped people.
[01:24:23] People tell me it saved their lives and, you know, uh, especially with.
[01:24:27] the stereotype of men
[01:24:29] not going to therapy
[01:24:31] and being too macho, which actually I guess
[01:24:33] is not a stereotype. The therapist I go to
[01:24:35] tell me that that happens. Go to therapy.
[01:24:38] Therapy is good. Therapy is
[01:24:39] healthy. We’ve talked about EMDR therapy
[01:24:42] which Dr. Drew recommended
[01:24:44] and how wonderful that therapy
[01:24:45] is and people messaging
[01:24:47] me saying, I went because
[01:24:49] you talked about it.
[01:24:51] So
[01:24:51] be open about your trauma.
[01:24:55] My quick back story
[01:24:57] born Baltimore
[01:24:58] I have two brothers. I’m a fraternal
[01:25:01] twin. My parents
[01:25:03] split. My mom did not
[01:25:05] want me
[01:25:06] told the court
[01:25:09] that she would take my
[01:25:11] twin brother and then she did
[01:25:13] if he wanted to and then she did want my younger
[01:25:15] brother. My dad of course loved all of
[01:25:17] us equally and wanted us all to be together
[01:25:19] so he got full custody
[01:25:21] and child support in 1989
[01:25:23] because it was a lady judge. What’s up judge?
[01:25:25] Still appreciate you for that.
[01:25:27] So
[01:25:28] live with my dad. My dad dies of a heart
[01:25:31] attack when I’m 16 and now
[01:25:33] we’re on our own. We
[01:25:35] raise ourselves. We go to school.
[01:25:37] We I mean we’re there
[01:25:39] every day. I get good grades.
[01:25:41] I play all sports.
[01:25:43] My brother’s same way. Good
[01:25:45] kids raised right wanted to be
[01:25:47] you know
[01:25:49] we ended up making our mom
[01:25:51] look good, but really what we were doing was
[01:25:53] is wanting to
[01:25:55] live the way our dad’s
[01:25:57] and our grandmother had taught us to live
[01:25:59] and you know at the time
[01:26:01] my dad’s mom was alive. My grandma
[01:26:03] and we were in communication
[01:26:05] with her all the time. She didn’t drive. She
[01:26:07] lived in a little row home right outside Baltimore
[01:26:09] City and in the county
[01:26:11] and when we graduated high
[01:26:13] school, my brother and I, my twin brother and I went
[01:26:15] to live with her. My younger brother stayed
[01:26:17] with my mom
[01:26:17] and we were in that house. God,
[01:26:21] she would come home maybe on Sundays to do some
[01:26:23] laundry or something like that and then
[01:26:25] bounce. So we raised each other and did
[01:26:27] everything we could. Our house was the place that
[01:26:29] everyone would come. I say house
[01:26:31] it was a it was a duplex on my line
[01:26:33] to so
[01:26:34] anyway
[01:26:35] moving with my grandmom. She dies.
[01:26:39] She has a heart attack right in front
[01:26:41] of us. I’m giving her CPR mouth to mouth
[01:26:43] all of it
[01:26:45] whole time. I’m in junior college
[01:26:47] all Juco
[01:26:48] and I end
[01:26:51] up moving to California to pursue
[01:26:53] comedy and go to college. I end up
[01:26:55] having to go back because right when I went
[01:26:57] to California or excuse
[01:26:59] me, the Northridge quake hit in 1994
[01:27:01] went back to Maryland
[01:27:03] was not going to give up on
[01:27:05] college finished at Towson State
[01:27:07] only a semester later than I
[01:27:09] planned, especially with everything I
[01:27:11] had gone through stuck it out
[01:27:13] all the while dreaming of doing comedy
[01:27:15] coming back, you
[01:27:18] know, and I moved back here
[01:27:20] to California
[01:27:20] the late
[01:27:24] 1900s and
[01:27:25] you know, I’ve been
[01:27:27] in this game 20 years now. So
[01:27:29] you know, you just got
[01:27:31] to stay in it. You got to grind. You got
[01:27:33] to hustle. You got to believe. I tell my daughter
[01:27:35] all the time. Just believe
[01:27:37] you have got to believe it.
[01:27:39] If you believe it, then you’ll go for
[01:27:41] it. Then when you go for it, you got
[01:27:43] to stay. You got to stay. You got
[01:27:45] to hustle. We got their uppercuts and elbows
[01:27:47] shit is definitely going to happen.
[01:27:49] Life doesn’t give a fuck
[01:27:51] what we all think about
[01:27:53] or want to do. Look at this year. Look at 2020
[01:27:55] you think the world cares or
[01:27:57] I’m excuse me. You think life cares
[01:27:59] about what our world plans are
[01:28:01] for the whole planet. Nope doesn’t give a
[01:28:03] shit. So live your life,
[01:28:04] you know, be good to yourself. I have to
[01:28:07] remember that one too. I’m so easy to get down
[01:28:09] on myself and rarely
[01:28:10] do I go over in the mirror and look at myself
[01:28:13] and say, hey man, good thing. So I’m going to say it to you
[01:28:15] all. This is a great thing you’re doing. I’m
[01:28:17] honored to be a part of this. Thank you
[01:28:19] Tyler and make sure you
[01:28:21] subscribe to the hundred new podcast
[01:28:23] come laugh at the
[01:28:24] pain with us over here and highlight the low
[01:28:27] lights.
[01:28:29] Hey, this is Ryan
[01:28:31] Sickler from the honeydew podcast
[01:28:33] and you know my
[01:28:35] show I say highlighting the low lights
[01:28:37] my show is all about
[01:28:38] finding that lightness in the dark
[01:28:41] and you know
[01:28:42] all right guys, we’re